What's in a face?

Well hey there everybody!! 


For those of you who actually bother to read this, you may be wondering where on earth I've been! To be honest, I sort of gave up on the whole concept of blogging, as all my thoughts have pretty much been the same despite all that happened over the last month or so. All I will say, is - I found an old poem! Haha, it's awful, I wrote it a fair while back for an English thing in the style of Simon Armitage that I based on a story I'd read in the paper... Anyways, enjoy!

What’s in a face?

What can I say?

What’s in a face?

Nose pressed to the glass of her laptop screen,

the one she’s had since she was barely 13,

She remembers the day, remembers the scene

like it was only yesterday he stole

Her heart.

They’d talk every night until early morning.

Sleep didn’t seem to matter anymore, yawning

she stumbled round the kitchen, grabbing at toast

and applying her liner, ready to boast

of the guy she’d just met – how gorgeous he was!

But she wouldn’t tell everything, simply because

she only knew him through a friend

of a friend of a friend. They wouldn’t understand.

But that didn’t matter. She knew him.

He was different.

She was different.

That day he’d asked for her number, so they

could text. She didn’t even stop to contemplate,

clumsily punching the digits.  Ready to burst

she thought almost at once of her very first

kiss-  How they’d meet, how she’d smile,

how they’d talk, how he’d joke, and how after a while,

The lights would dim, the violins would play,

the fireworks would “bang!” and then quietly he’d say

“I love you.” And he would, she knew him.

He was special.

She felt special.

They arranged to meet, the date was set

as she put on her lip gloss, and when they met-

she suddenly realised who he was. Not a friend

or a lover, or even a boy. And this was the end

of her prized virginity. One weak moment of disbelief

was enough to rob her of her movement

and it was this he took to his advantage

as his hands moved to pull up the hem of her skirt...

But that didn’t matter. He didn’t know her.

He was laughing.

She was crying.

Nose pressed to the glass of her laptop screen,

the one she’s had since she was barely 13,

she remembers the day, remembers the scene

like it was only yesterday he stole

Her innocence.

What can I say?

What’s in a face?

Recently,

Well, I've noticed that I talk to much, so I though for once I'll let the pictures do the talking, and tell you of some of the things I've been up to :)

"Two lovers born to share their fate,
One born of love, one born of hate"
- cheesy, eh ;)

So, this is a mini sketch book, and drawings of the two main characters in my little story I was talking about before - I don't know why I drew them, I only really wrote that story over two days and I stopped writing before the two main characters had even met, but I decided to kinda bring them together on the page I guess haha!! As you can pretty much tell from the drawings, they're basically crossed over versions from all of my favourite stories and therefore all my favourite heroes and heroines - see how they look a little like Edward and Bella, but a little like Christine and Phantom? Incase you're wondering, the guy has no eyes - hence all the dark shading - they were burnt out, gruesome, eh ;) Anyway, if I ever do get around to letting these two characters meet, I'll do some new drawings :P

So, the above is a picture of a pretty purple flower that I took for an art project I'm about to start, in which I need to have 10 photographs and 10 drawings based on a theme. Due to my obsession with hidden beauty, I thought I'd do something along those lines - I spent ages looking up quotes and definitions on what other artists class as "beautiful", and then went and frolicked in the garden with my camera ;) Why this flower? I think it's just the fact that's it's IMperfect - it's not exactly right, some of the petals are torn and frayed, it's a little off centre, the balance of the petals is a little wrong - but I still think it's beautiful. Perhaps I'm just a little bit weird, but I think it's in the fragility of it, and the subtly of the colour - I just love it :) It's perfect in it's own right for what it is - in it's simplicity :)

Ahh come on, you knew it was coming!! This is the magnificent actor Tam Mutu, who's been playing Phantom in Love Never Dies recently in the place of my beloved Ramin Karimloo - I've now seen the play 6 times and I'm going to the final show - and possibly another time inbetween with my brothers. Honestly since the very first time I watched it last year in March, it's taken me through some of the most incredibble times of my life, it's been like the theme music of my happiest and saddest year and I'm so greatful to it - it's always been there to show me what's most important. Besides the whole soppiness of it, it really is a magnificent show. The colour, the lights, the effects - it's all increddible, and the MUSIC is second to none. I could listen to "Til I hear you Sing" ten times over in that theatre and be sitting on the edge of my seat the entire time - it's completly thrilling for me!! A little embarassing, but I really do love it, it'll be sad to see it go :(

And there you go! Besides that, it's been a lot of cinema trips with my lovely friend Katie, and trips around the shops with my family. No holidays or anything, I just don't think the family could handle that right now, and one more month left until I go on to Bournemouth! Wish me luck..

Memory,

This song was in my head all last night - it's a beautiful song that everyone knows but no one ever really LISTENS to it, you have to really listen hard to every note, every word. Notice how the words actually fit the notes? It's very clever :) Anyway - I enjoy it, so listen up ;) x

Memory,
Turn your face to the moonlight
Let your memory lead you
Open up, enter in
If you find there the meaning of what happiness is
Then a new life will begin

Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again

Burnt out ends of smoky days
The stale cold smell of morning
The streetlamp dies, another night is over
Another day is dawning

Daylight
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I musn't give in
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin

Sunlight through the trees in summer
Endless masquerading
Like the flower as the dawn is breaking
The memory is fading

Touch me
It's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me
You'll understand what happiness is

Look
A new day has begun

Same old story,

A must see film btw! Such a twist at the end!!

Hello again, remember me?


I've barely written this month, which is funny actually because I've had barely anything to do, I've litterally been bored out of my brains! I think it's because I often use this blog as a distraction, a place to vent - but at the moment I don't really have anything new or interesting to rant about - it's all the same old stuff!!


So in a moment of procrastination I decided to write a short story - I tend to be quite a creative person and I had time to kill, so I figured, ya know - why not?


Funny thing is, it quickly became a much longer story, I got a little bit too into it and ended up spending pretty much most of my day and the day after writing it, and have actually written almost 10,000 words! My bad!

Now don't get too excited, I'm not going to post it on here - it's hardly a good story, nor is it original or special in anyway - it's more like a crossover of all my favourite stories mixed up into one - Harry Potter, Twilight, Charmed, Phantom etc etc... they're all in there!


Naturally being me, the story is all about love - how predictable. It's also about a person who see's himself as ugly, and a beautiful girl see's him for who he really is - again, how predictable. It's also about how good conquers evil, prejudice, magic and psychology - again, is this sounding familiar to you?


But you know what, at the moment, I quite like predictable! I like the fact that in this crazy world, at least I'm staying the same - everythings moving and changing and I can't keep up with it, and sometimes I don't even want to. I'd rather just shut myself off completly.

I'm not crying,

This song, is just... amazing lol, it makes me laugh so much!! It's a parody, so please don't take it too seriously, but it's a song a friend of mine sent me ages ago to try and cheer me up and I was reminded of it again the other day, and thought I'd share it with you :

Here we go again,

So, for those of you who read this regularly or know me well will've realised that I haven't written in a fair while - or at least I'm not writing as much anyway! It's half way through the month and I'm pretty sure this is only my 3rd post - shockingly well contained for someone like little me!

Truth is, I've been keeping things on the down low for a while. About a week back I went through a pretty dark couple of days - and the funniest part is I'm not actually sure WHY!! Looking back it all seems so silly, but I guess it was just a lot of little things, a lot of things that I was scared about - yes, typical teenagery girl things, but also some "situational issues" that I won't go into on here - and basically, the world felt like it was crumbling around me... I know, melodramatic right?! But I hated the freakin' world for putting me in that position, I cancelled seeing anyone I was going to see, I stopped answering texts - I stopped leaving my room for a couple of days in a sort of trance, twas strange, twas very strange indeed...

It would've been fine if I didn't have people texting me every 5 seconds asking what was up, and the people I cancelled on asking what was happening - what could I say?! "Oh, I'm terribly sorry, I'm busy hating the universe today, call back later..." --> not so much.

Well, I stayed away from people because I know what I do when I get in a horrendous state like that - get very very very very angry and yell like theres no tomorrow- and I can't afford to argue with any of my friends now, I need them. But the problem was, when I didn't talk to anyone about it, I became more and more irratated with myself, and next thing I knew I was looking in my reflection in the mirror after my shower, and I had all these nasty little scratches on my back - just like black swan nonetheless =.= (last thing you wanna be comparing yourself to!!)

This didn't exactly make me feel any better! I'm not a self harmer, I don't do that - appart from anything else I'm scared of pain!! But I was so frustrated with everything and so hot and bothered I'd been itching myself for days and apparantly not noticed what I was doing to myself :S That was my wake up call - I immediatly got on the phone to everyone, arranged to meet up with my dear friend Kitkat the next day, and as always, life moved on - the whole incident went unoticed, which I think is a good thing methinks :)

This is life... moving on apparantly haha!

I also had a go at writing my own version of "My Fairytale" - having read a post for the dear Rachel Bax - though I don't think I'd ever post that on here, I wouldn't be doing anyone any favours!! And I've been working on a self portrait, it's come to a halt recently, I need to get back into the swing of it, and I'm sure it'll come together in the end! Then I can finally start earning some money for dear old Bournemouth - yaayyyy :( Not so excited yet - but I'm laying all my hopes for happiness in it, so it better be good ;)

So anyway - hello again - in the near future I hope to write stuff that isn't quite so personal and self sympathetic - I think the world has enough of those people without me being one of them too.. let's hope I can pull myself outta this one quickly so I can move the hell on...

Just a little something,

This is a poem I wrote just now, some of these phrases have been buzzing around my head all day - it's about so many different things that are going on in my life, even though it's very small, short and sweet - and seems to be on one particular "romantic" track - so it may suprise you to know it's not actually about that! In short I think it just sort of sums up me and the way I view myself - enjoy ;) xx

Those who dream by day and night,

And live upon a cloud,

Let their hearts soar higher than those,

Who keep their feet upon the ground.

Though listen still, my little friend,

Not all is simple as it seems...

As hearts are often hurt and broken,

In those who dwell on dreams.